The Gardner Christmas Chronicles
The Years in Review
This year's chronicle is dedicated to Libby, Grant's dog, then Warren's dog, then our dog.
(see Glossary page)
2004(?) - 2017
Lauren, Warren, Marily and Larry
November 12, 2017
Marily, Larry, Warren and Lauren
Christmas Eve 2017
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Click the Bonus Pages box below to see additional photos for this and previous years!
And use the navigation bar at the top of the pages to view previous years.
Twenty-seventeen is ending
And the holidays impending
Have my wordsmith talents working overtime.
Once again, it’s Christmas season
And for me, the time’s the reason
That I squeeze the year’s events into a rhyme.
So, I’ll try to hold your interest
For our family existence
In the verses that encapsulate the year.
Our adventures may be fleeting,
But I’ve saved some worth repeating
In our version of a family souvenir.
This year was big for Warren
And his lovely girlfriend, Lauren,
Who is very clearly overqualified
For commitment she was making
For a lifetime undertaking
When she happily agreed to be his bride.
And a part of this alliance
Is acceptance of compliance
To a long-past promise made for you-know-what.
In a moment of derangement,
She had promised an arrangement
Where she’d always be the one to wipe his butt.
Our intent is just to keep it nice,
Not overwhelm them with advice,
And let them be unaided newlyweds.
But somehow, we’ll be unconstrained
To always keep them entertained
With thoughts of grandkids dancing in their heads.
Despite how everyone can see
How younger Meemo is than me,
She decided on the need to reacquire
Her peace of mind with an event
And put an end to discontent
By deciding it was time to just retire.
Both our patios were sinking
Through the years, so we were thinking
That we ought to have them raised up one more time.
But we finally decided
On a plan that coincided
With a limited remaining summertime.
So, our plan, instead of raising,
Was to go for an amazing
Style of concrete to be stamped in a design.
Then with Marily approval,
We began with the removal
Of the old stuff so the new stuff would align.
At the start of the upheaval
Was meticulous retrieval
Of the 1990 handprints in the set.
So it wouldn’t be demolished,
Meemo had it cut and polished,
So that we and Warren never would forget.
We were left with some reshaping
Of our sizable landscaping,
And the dust that covered all of Meemo’s plants.
We completed our revision,
Done with typical precision,
So we had our place for evening time romance.
In the summer our seclusion
Was disrupted by intrusion
By a horde of this year’s uninvited guests.
First conclusions became scary
With this latest adversary
When we thought that bedbugs just might be the pests.
We went shopping incognito,
While pretending the mosquito
Was the thing that we were trying to abate.
Then we dusted all the places
And inside of our suitcases,
In the hopes the bugs would die or abdicate.
And we tore apart our bedding
When we found the bugs were spreading
To the walls and ceiling, floors and in the bath.
Then we gave up our resistance
To professional assistance
When we couldn’t find an evidence of path.
We took photographic evidence
Of size and shape to get a sense
Of attributes for someone who could tell
From the photos that we sent away,
Professionals, we hoped, would say
That they really weren’t a cause for insect hell.
With good advice that we could trust,
We cleaned up all the fairy dust
And once again we slept both safe and snug.
And we thought of all the sleepless mess
And prolonged intensified distress,
All from just some harmless food-borne bug.
After much consideration
And some careful observation,
And my online research to the third degree,
I began my dealer action
And concluded a transaction
That resulted in a brand-new SUV.
Little Meemo has no time, I’ve learned,
To even be a bit concerned
With the time-consuming research and its stress.
When she went for just an oil change,
She ended with a quick exchange,
And departed in a gorgeous CTS.
Years ago, Grant had a mission
For a dog with one condition:
That it came from caged-up puppies at the pound.
So, with Meemo’s help they hunted
Through the choices till confronted
With the cutest, best behaved canine around.
Libby went through life with changes
In her ownership and ranges,
Till she finally ended back in her hometown.
Then her eyes and ears were ailing
And her systems slowly failing,
To the point we had to put our doggie down.
Our vacations all were scattered
To the places that most mattered
For our family get togethers when we could.
We showed up in Indiana
To see Mom and Dad and Lana
And invaded Warren’s home in Maplewood.
And we traveled for Thanksgiving
To where Marily was living
Back before I whisked her off to be with me,
Where her mother and her sister
Made it clear how much they missed her
And the other kinfolk there seemed to agree.
In March I went to stay a spell
Just one last time on Sanibel,
To help my Mom and Dad’s return back north.
But now it was the end, I fear,
Of my twice-a-year chauffeur career,
As no longer they’d be going back and forth.
All our future still looks hazy
As the world keeps going crazy
With its hurricanes and California fires.
Not to mention our disquiet
At the things that cause a riot,
When we all should just await for what transpires.
And as I’ve so often told her,
As my Meemo’s growing older
How we’re fortunate to live our lives combined.
For we always know that whether
We can spend our days together,
That we’ll always spend our evenings intertwined.
Now I’ve spent some time exposing
Our events, so I’ll be closing
With a Merry Christmas wish for all to hear.
And I thank you now for spending
Precious time to reach then ending,
And we wish you all a wonderful New Year.
Copyright © 2017 Larry Gardner
(see Glossary page)